Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I have been seeing a lot of people struggling in the relationship department lately so decided to blog about relationships and what I think makes them last and what makes them strong.

Life in the last four years has changed drastically for me. It is crazy to look back and think about how much I have changed, how much my friends have changed, how much life has changed. Four years ago I was 17 years old and about to graduate high school. I met a guy and fell in love, we had ups and we had downs, I grew up and he grew up, and here we are four years later married with our own house and I have a career, a house, bills, and life as an adult. I think back to the person I was when I met my husband and think of the person I am now, and though there are things that are still the same, there is so much that has changed. I was immature (though probably more mature than most people who were my age), I was spoiled, I was completely dependent on my parents for everything, as was he, honestly. I met him and knew he was the one and our lives grew and changed and took off from there.

There are a lot of people who look down on people who are married young. It's pretty funny to me because I have always felt that age does not matter. Yes, statistics say this and statistics say that, but my relationship is not a statistic. Love doesn't have an age limit. I think the biggest thing about relationships with most people is they don't expect to have rough times. I watch people all the time who are in a relationship or married and they hit a bump and that is it, that is the end and they are not willing to work for their love. Any human relationship is going to hit rocky times and the whole point of being married is that you are there with someone for better or for worse. My husband and I know this and that is why our relationship will last. The point is to learn how to grow together. The point is to help each other through rough times. I feel like I shouldn't have to explain that to people.

When we met, I never expected the connection we would have or that we would be so compatible. We like all the same things. We we raised really similar. Our personalities are really similar. He is my best friend. My point is, I think that is something that is very important in a marriage. I think you need someone who is your friend because even in times when there is no romance, there is friendship and that keeps a relationship strong. A mistake a lot of people make is trying to be with someone based on superficial things. Yes, human nature is vain and shallow and I do believe that to be with someone you have to find them attractive but at the same time you can't base your whole relationship off of that. It needs to be someone who can be your friend, who makes you laugh, who you have fun with. Looks and lust can only take you so far and that is why so many girls have boyfriend after boyfriend and are always whining, "Why don't my relationships turn into something long term?", "Why can't I find someone?". It's because there is nothing deep there. Make a real connection to someone. Make friends with someone. Stop bouncing from guy to guy and 'loving' every single one. Find one person who is your best friend and work through your issues. If it's really love, stick with them.

It worked for me.

October 10th, 2010; Wedding day

1 comment:

brenda said...

You are so wise. I did a good job raising you if I do say so myself. Mom